WAYS SMART WOMEN CHOOSE TO BE REALLY, TRULY, SIMPLY HAPPY

                                                                                              By William Augustine

Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present. Jim Rohn

My greatest beauty secret is being happy with myself. I don't use special creams or treatments - I'll use a little bit of everything. It's a mistake to think you are what you put on yourself. I believe that a lot of how you look is to do with how you feel about yourself and your life. Happiness is the greatest beauty secret. Tina Turner

Here's how to break it down:

FOR GOODNESS SAKES, LET IT GO ALREADY: Did you know that being ignored causes the same area of the brain as physical pain, or always thinking about what individual or group of people have done to you or that looking at photos of your ex lights up the same areas associated with passion and addiction? In laymen's terms, talking your ex's Facebook or any social medias feed is not going to do much for your "moving on" process (and it didn't do much for mine, either). None of us want to admit that we "crave" or feel "addicted" to someone who no longer wants to be with us but, but it happens.

When something or someone we wanted so badly starts to slip away, some of us are able to respectfully release while others simply tighten their grip. The latter never works; begging doesn't look good on anyone. Bottom Line: If you’re not being welcomed into someone’s home, heart or office space (and respected and appreciated while there) it’s best to stop knocking and go back into your own happy space.

CHANGE YOUR MUSIC: After a bit of research, I realized that not only would happier songs or motivational speaker make sailing more peaceful, but a peppier playlist can actually increase my mood.  A study performed by experts at The University of Missouri found that listening to uplifting music can bring about a intelligence of happiness, so while I certainly haven’t given up my Eminem passion, but I toss a little Kylie in the mix now and then. 

SMILE… A LOT: You’ve heard it before, and you’ll hear it here again: it only takes a few muscles to smile! You would be surprised how fast being cheerful to others can spread. A simple smile or kind word can spread like wildfire. Not only will you feel better, but everyone around you feels better!

BELIEVE IN YOURSELF: Sure, smart and happy women also have their doubts from time to time. Or have an occasional day where the only thing that seems possible is to stay in bed and watch reruns of Desperate Housewives! But on the whole, they are confident and secure in who they are. As they are. And if that moment of doubt creeps up with you: state what you know to be true about your authentic self. Ask yourself: ‘What is true about myself right now, in this moment?’ For example, ‘I am loved’ or ‘I have what I need’ or ‘I am a smart person’. State this affirmation out loud a few times and take it in!

TURN OFF THE TV AND READ JOKE:  Step away from al drama and turn off your TV. Rather than watch TV, use your time more mindfully. Read, walk, meet friends. Join an sports club or a class. Use your time to connect to others and yourself. Or go do something different, spontaneous, and wild!

LIKE PEOPLE: You don’t have to love everyone you encounter, but learn to like people. Especially those who are different than yourself! Often you won’t agree with everything they do. And sure you don’t believe in all of their beliefs. Learn to get along with them anyway and you will open your mind up to change. And that is a critical trait. Absolutely necessary in today’s world.

ASSUME THE BEST IN PEOPLE: If my friend sent me to voicemail or didn't respond to a text, I used to sit at my desk thinking that our friendship had ended for reasons that I was unaware of and I would never get a chance to explain myself. Many unnecessary panic attacks later, I realized that not every missed call means someone is avoiding you and that terse look from your co-worker? It's probably not because you didn't fill up the paper in the printer. Yes, there are selfish and manipulative people out there but spending your life looking around for slights and insults is a one-way ticket to unhappiness. Worse, it can make you flash your Cray too often and cause problems!

FIND THE PRESENT IN YOUR HISTORY BUT MAKE ROOM FOR THE NEW: There’s a good chance that whatever I'm facing now, I’ve faced in the past and things turned out just fine. My past shows me that nothing can break me ... except me. Unfortunately, going back into the past without a clear understanding as to why I'm going there (and what I'm looking for) can turn out the same way as mindlessly walking into my attic, opening every box and then looking at my watch, wondering where the hell the day went.And guess what? Some people look at their watch and wonder the same thing about their entire life. Don't be that someone. Focus on the present. If I find myself wasting time on things I know I shouldn't be wasting time on, I distract myself and call the girlfriend who will make me laugh or remind me why I'm so lucky to have moved on.

BE PROACTIVE: The more I reach out, read up, and walk forward, the more aware of opportunities and possibilities I become. Before I know it, I'm living in a world of options and opportunity instead of simply choosing the "lesser of two evils" as so many feel they do. Don't believe me? Reach out to five people today and ask them all to get together to do something. Meet one for drinks, one to hit a academy, one for dinner, one for watching film, one for snapping pictures and so on. Get back to me in two weeks.

HERE ARE NOT BEARS BEHIND EVERY TREE: Maybe it’s because our ancestors had to worry about wild animals chasing them into their caves or some hot young thing in a bearskin skirt causing a ruckus in the tribe, but so many of us equate the unknown with something negative. Quite frankly, that’s a shame.

Not only does this way of thinking keep us from making changes and making introductions that could literally change the directions of our lives, but it also makes us boring to those around us. Whenever I find myself fearful of the future, I ask, "What if what I don’t know is how wonderful my life can actually be?"

PLAY GAMES WITH YOUR KIDS: There's something about being grateful that just shifts your focus, even for a moment, and you realize that you smearing your nail polish right before a date is not that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things.

BE A REALIST: I seek people who lift my spirits, validate my feelings and remind me that I can change my situation. I love that my friends and I treat unhappiness as an infection to clear up, rather than a chronic, untreatable disease. There's freedom in accountability and knowing that we choose what we deal (and don’t deal) with.

MAKE BETTER CHOICES: This one is the big one. Being a victim allows you to be lazy. If it's not your fault, then you don’t have to do any work, right? FALSE. Just because someone else made bad choices that left you down for the count doesn’t mean that you have the green light to throw your own personal pity party. Also, when you choose to engage with someone after they show you who they are or you choose not to create boundaries or listen to your gut, that decision is on YOU.

At the end of the day, you are the person who is responsible for creating a space and a life you love, so if you’re constantly stressed out or feeling as though you’re not where you want to be, the change you seek can only be found in the choices you make.

May God give us the wisdom and the strength to live happily in Jesus name.